My name is John and I am an alcoholic and a raging drug addict
eighteen years old and only used for about 2 and a half years, but that
was more than enough for my life to fall to pieces because of my
When I was fourteen I got a little drunk for the first time. I hated the way the alcohol tasted, and I hated how it made me so sick. The effects were nice, but I wished that I could get them without having the unpleasant side effects.
I found a solution to this problem at age 15 with marijuana. Within a few months of my first time smoking, I was getting high multiple times every single day.
My friends were changing rapidly because the ones who really cared didn't approve of my heavy usage. I responded to this by getting new friends. Around this time I also became addicted to stealing, in order to support my addiction and also in order to look cool by having a lot of money. My friends and I would get high and drunk and then go out at night and steal hundreds and hundreds of dollars from people's unlocked cars.
I began selling pot at age 16. My usage increased heavily and I began using other drugs as well. I slowly began trying all the things I said I would never do, and before long, my life was absolutely governed by cocaine, alcohol, prescription medications, and lots and lots of pot.
Of course I also began getting into trouble with the law. February 16, 2009, I was arrested for the first time but let off with a possession charge. June 16 I was arrested again, this time with three felonies and a misdeameanor. I was expelled from my school and sent to a mental ward for saying I wanted to kill myself, and straight to a treatment center from there.
A few days after getting out of treatment, I was using again. I remember feeling like an empty shell - I would stay up for days at a time, stealing, lying, and using people to get my drugs and liquor. My family thought I was sober at this point, and I began at a character-based boarding school in August.
I brought a lot of pot with me and resisted everything the school was trying to offer me. Once the pot ran out, I began huffing up to 2 cans of computer duster every day, along with a daily dosage of booze and a whole lot of cough medicine.
I hit bottom on November 16, 2009. As far as I'm concerned, that's the most important day of my life - that was the day I finally decided I had had enough. I called up my mother, crying and saying I was really done this time, but she didn't believe me (who could blame her). So I then called up an old friend who I knew was heavily involved in a 12-step group. This man is my sponsor today. We work our program together, and maintain daily contact.
At almost 90 days sober, I can honestly say I have never been so grateful and serene in my entire life.
If you're reading this and you can relate to my story, please know that there is a way out of the twisted insanity that is drug addiction and alcoholism. I should be dead right now, but I'm still here - as far as I'm concerned, that's proof enough for me to believe in a loving Higher Power. As long as I remember to help other addicts, talk to my sponsor, work my 12 step program, and remain honest, I don't have to drink and drug today. And to me, this is a miracle.