Read Greg's letter and answer it yourself before you read my answer.
My name is Greg and I am 18 years old. I have been using since I was twelve years old. This past summer I was arrested because of my addiction.
I am going to tell you the story because i feel that maybe in someway you could help me. This gal called me one day and asked me if I could get her a 1/4 lb. of weed so I told her "yes." Well, when I did that she ended up stealing it and jumping out a 2 story window. Less than a week later she called one of my "friends" and he said he would go pick her up. He did. But he took her to a remote place where she was assaulted and robbed. I did not do any of that stuff.
About 4 days later the police caught up with us and I was put away for 2 days in a detention home (I wasnt 18 yet) and then I was put into a rehab program. Well I have been out since Sept. and didn't smoke for awhile because I was on house arrest until I turned 18. Then I smoked around the begining of Febuary for the first time since before I was locked up. My addiction is taking over again because I have been smoking ever since. I am on probation until 2 years and I cannot afford to screw anything else up.
I have such a wonderful girlfriend who is supportive of me is my fiance. She has been through it all with me and I love her so much I don't want to put her through that again, nor my family. My girlfriend is aware that I have been smoking and she wants to help me, she asks me how she can and I reply, "I don't know". And I really don't. I don't know why I continue to smoke because I honestly don't want to.I really don't understand why I am doing this? I have already failed a drug test for probation, 1 more and I have to go back to court. Can you help me?
Can you help him? what would you say?
You wrote, "I am going to tell you the story because I feel that maybe in someway you could help me." I can tell you truthfully that I can not help you and you are right, your girfriend can't either. I can only offer you my experience. I too, am a drug addict and so I can "hear" what you are saying. You also wrote: "This past summer I was arrested because of my addiction." That is the only gut level honest statement you made. You spent the rest of the email telling me why it wasn't really your fault and evading responsibility for anything and everything. You even say, "I don't know why I keep smoking." What kind of crap is that? You keep smoking because you keep picking it up. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that out.
I love you like a son--we are addicts together and in recovery together. Yet--by not accepting responsibility for your choices, you keep yourself in diseased thinking. I can offer you a way out. Normally I prefer AA and CDA--but I can see that NA is the place for you. Why? Because NA is a bit Nazi-like and won't give you an inch to bullshit anyone. If you truly want to be free of mind-affecting chemicals and the cage of oppressive thinking you have built for yourself, contact the closest NA group in your area. Tell them you need a strong sponsor. I suggest taking the first person over 5 years who offers. Then do this: everything they tell you. If they tell you to clean your floor with a toothbrush, get on your hands and knees and do it.
I can also suggest that you contact MA (marijuana anonymous) via the internet and join an on-line group--but the most important is finding NA and a strong sponsor.
What I am telling you is the sharing of my experience strength and hope--This is not professional advice, it is suggestions for self-help from one addict to another. Give your fiancé the best gift of her life, your sobriety! God bless and get your little behind to NA.